I AM A DREAMER.

I WILL NOT SETTLE, I WILL NOT LEAD A NORMAL LIFE, I WILL NOT FIND SOME STUPID JOB THAT I HATE AND JUST BE MISERABLE. I'M SORRY IF THAT'S UPSETTING OR OFFENSIVE, BUT I WON'T.

I AM A DREAM CHASER.

And I will fight every day to have them. And I will never stop until I draw my last breath.

Thank you to all those who believed in me before I believed in myself. I owe so much to you. And thank you to all those who continue to believe in me and buoy me up as I continue fighting every day to make them reality. I am so, so blessed.



"Roots Before Branches"

[Rachel:]
So many things
To do and say
But I can't seem
To find my way
But I wanna know how
I know
I'm meant
For something else
But first
I gotta find myself
But I don't know how

[Rachel with Finn harmonizing:]
Oh, why do
I reach for the stars
When I don't have wings
To carry me that far?

[Rachel with Finn:]
I gotta have
Roots before branches
To know who I am
Before I know
Who I wanna be
And faith
To take chances
To live like I see
A place in this world
For me

[Rachel (Finn):]
Sometimes
I don't wanna feel
(Sometimes
I don't wanna feel)

And forget the pain
Is real
(And forget the pain
Is real)

Put my head
In the clouds

Oh, start to run
And then I fall
(start to run
And then I fall)

Thinkin'
I can't get it all
Without my feet
On the ground
(Seein'
I can't get it all
Without my feet
On the ground)

[Rachel:]
There's always a seed
Before there's a rose
The more that it rains
The more I will grow

[Rachel with Finn:]
I gotta have
Roots before branches
To know who I am
Before I know
Who I wanna be
And faith
To take chances
To live like I see
A place in this world
For me

[Rachel:]
Whatever comes
I know how to take it
Learn to be strong
I won't have to fake it
Oh, you're understandin'
The wind can come
And do its best
Blow me north, and south,
East and west
But I'll still
Be standing
I'll be standing

[Rachel & Finn with New Directions:]
If I have
Roots before branches
To know who I am (To know who I am)
Before I know
Who I'm gonna be
And faith
To take chances
To live like I see
A place in this world

I gotta have
Roots before branches
To know who I am
Before I know
Who I wanna be
And faith

[New Directions:]
To take chances
And live like I see
A place in this world
For me

[Rachel:]
I gotta have
Roots before branches

I HAVE FOUND MY ROOTS. I KNOW WHO I AM. I AM SO PROUD TO BE THE REAL ME. I AM NOT AFRAID, I AM NOT ASHAMED. I WILL NOT CHANGE.

I AM A DREAMER. I AM A DREAMCHASER

AND I AM A FIGHTER WHO WILL NEVER QUIT. EVER.

So as many people know, I was in Dallas this past weekend helping my brother move so he could start a new job. However, on my way to the airport I left my phone at his house. I discovered this when I was ready to check-in. In a mad dash, I flew back down the escalator and got to my brother before he pulled out to drive away. We searched his car and I upended most of my things frantically. It became evident that I had not had my phone on the 40-minute drive to the airport, and that it had to be at his house. Unfortunately, I had to work on Monday and all the flights for Sunday didn't look good, and so this was the last flight out of the day, and I had to be on it. No time to go back.

When my brother got back to his apt, he discovered that indeed my phone was there. He took it to a FedEx shipping center and overnighted it to me, but since it was the weekend they weren't shipping. It would go out Monday and arrive Tuesday by 3pm guaranteed.

However, the tracking number he gave me didn't work, so I couldn't see where the package was or do anything about changing it online. Nor could I call FedEx and ask them to change the destination so that it would not arrive at my house when I wasn't there to receive it. Nor could I inform my brother to change it on his end because he had no internet yet, and only his phone, which I didn't.

So. The phone was delivered yesterday at 3pm, but because I was not there to receive it, they left a note. They would try again tomorrow at 3pm, again when I wouldn't be there. I had no clue how I was ever going to get that stupid package and get my life back on an even keel.

At 5:30pm, I got off work. Then I walked to the bus stop at the end of the block. The bus was 10 minutes late arriving. Finally I got on, and rode it 7 blocks to my polling place. There was relatively no line, though it did take a minute to sort out why I was there when I was listed as "absentee." But I'd brought my unvoted mail ballot (that I hadn't voted because it had turned sort of green and I was worried it wouldn't count), and all was put to rights. When I went to the ballot box, my card would not work. Delay #2. A poll worker had to come over, sort out my card, and finally I was set to vote. I took my time, though I already had my mind up about everything before, so really it was a matter of clicking. I didn't rush, or hurry through it, I just took my time. When I was done, I started for home. About a block into it, I recalled that I was going to head north (away from home) to grab a geocache to fulfill my one-per-day-in-November Challenge I was working on. So I turned around and backtracked to make the find. It took me about 5 minutes to answer all the questions (it was a Virtual) and be on my way again. I was in no hurry, and don't recall walking particularly fast.

As I neared 4th east (my street), I said to myself, I'll just cut through this business plaza right here and save myself a little time. As I was crossing the darkened plaza, I heard some noises. Turns out it was a FedEx guy picking up the day's end packages.

My heart started racing. Could he...? I waited until he was done, and then quite literally scared him (on accident) by asking if he was the truck that delivered to my house. He nodded that he was. I asked did he have a package that had my name on it? He did indeed! He asked me if I had been following him. HA! I mean, WHAT ARE THE CHANCES?!

HOW MANY THINGS HAD TO GO EXACTLY, I MEAN EXACTLY, AS THEY DID FOR HIM TO BE THERE WHEN I WALKED BY?!? He's there for all of 2 minutes, tops. I mean this is SOME CRAY CRAY UNIVERSE STARS ALIGNING INSANITY RIGHT HERE.

I just randomly happened to cross paths with the one guy in the city who could get me that package THREE AND A HALF HOURS AFTER HE INITIALLY TRIED TO DELIVER IT TO ME. I ABOUT DIED ON THE SPOT. THAT LITERALLY JUST HAPPENED.

IN-FREAKING-SANITY.

So. I have my phone back. Sorry to everyone whose calls and texts I missed. But I'm back on the grid, so text/call away (though I'm working today until 5:30 :P)!

I have to say that I'm really excited for Election Day. Because it's an opportunity for me to stand up and say that my voice matters. And it does.

And I don't have to necessarily side with either of the two parties backed by ridiculous, absurd amounts of $$$ coming from PACs and Super-PACs. I can vote for the person I believe most accurately represents me. Which is what everyone should be doing, no matter the state, no matter the party, no matter the debates.

I commend and applaud all the third-party candidates who were unable to get time on the big screen in the main presidential debates, because we are focused on the broken two-party system. This is supposed to be a democracy, not a left-against-right battle. The work they are doing to make sure that everyone has an equal voice and an equal opportunity receives not only my nod of approval, but my support. Watching the third-party debate was enlightening, and refreshing.

Many people I hear whining about how their vote doesn't count because of the state they live in. Well, Gary Johnson has something to say about that: "Wasting your vote is voting for somebody that you don’t believe in. That’s wasting your vote." He invites all of you to waste your votes on him this election, and then he'll laugh as he becomes President.

No matter what you believe, no matter what side you draw yourself ally to, please, please - stand up and be counted.



I know I will.


 

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