"I write, therefore I am."

First off - If you haven't read Ender's Game , do so. Second, after doing so, go see the movie. If you've done neither of those, probably don't read this. Me writing about Ender is nothing new per se, but in some ways it is, so here we go again. Ender. Ender's Game . If you've forgotten the past, feel free to refresh yourself. This and this are my most important writings to date on Ender. Ender and I have been an experience and journey like no other. Years we've been on this road, and now the movie adds a new layer to that. I -against all trepidations about doing so- went and saw it. I will note here (this could easily spiral out of control into its own rant-y diatribe, so I will not let it) my extreme dislike of Card as a person for his personal agenda/beliefs. His homophobia is rampant and very problematic. However, I must say that Ender is still one of the characters that hits closest to home for me -deeply, wholly, on ALL levels of who I am- and so...

I have finished Ender's Shadow . Yesterday, and it's been in my head ever since. I understand now. I understand what I missed, and where I got confused in my previous reading. Because Shadow is a parallel novel, I couldn't help but pick up Ender's Game and read over the last half again as I read Ender's Shadow . I loved the nuances, the differences, the similarities. I loved being able to see Ender form outside of Ender. Sometimes I wish there were a parallel novel to my own life. That which you see. I've been criticized recently of being too self-protective. That deep down I am angry, and vulnerable, and I use that to control and domineer others around me. That's why I have so many relationships that end in failure. I don't discount or negate any of this, but I hope I'm seen in a different light than this when you are around me or think of me. If not, I'm sorry. I'm trying to change. This is the way I see myself: I am a man who gives every...

So I was writing up a cute little post about what I've been doing in the last week, and talking about some books and whatnot, and realized that I started doing book reviews after my bout with Orson Scott Card's Ender's Game which was a really amazing experience -- akin to maybe one other book I've read -- as far as the brunt impact it had on my life when I read it (which would be Chaim Potok's My Name is Asher Lev ). Realizing that my experience with Ender was not located here, I decided to rectify such an oversight. I pressed save on the other post I was writing (pictures and the summer re-cap coming soon! No, really, I'm not just saying that X.x I feel like the boy who cried wolf, lol), and decided to bring you this one instead. The post/essay itself is taken from a site that Gideon Burton, Liz Busby, Katherine Morris, Ben Crowder , Candy Eash and I engineered as an extension of the BYU Chapter of The Association for Mormon Letters back in early 2008. The si...