"I write, therefore I am."

This... this is just positively too funny to pass up. It must be put here. Last night my sister and I were chilling and my lil bro was hanging out on the floor. I don't even remember what was going on, though that's prolly because I was on the phone... then all of a sudden my bro just busts out with: "You know, the bottom of your crutches don't taste very good." O.O W T H ? ROFL I don't remember the last time I laughed that hard. What a random 13yr old boy he is. Not even begging the question what would possess anyone to...ew! ...you don't know where those have been!

This time it was my brother. He's totally 13, but still. Me: "I want some O.J." Pops: "Okay, give me your cup. Am I supposed to shake it first?" Me: "Yes." Ry: "No, it's already been shook-ed." O.O Kids...

As you know I'm no longer a Sunday School teacher so I don't have bunches of 10yr olds every weekend who say really random and funny things. But life has it's ways of making up for that, so here's to a new blog section for our missing giggles. This time around, my 14yr old sister will be filling in for the 10yr olds: Mom: "It didn't work." Me: "Did you type it right? Is your caps lock on?" 'Stas: "No, if her caps lock was on the little light would be litted up." O.O She REALLY said that. Really.

I was hit by a car. My life altered, radically and permanently, after. I didn't ask for this, it just happened. And now I have to figure out how to cope. How to continue. How to pick up the pieces and move on. The very scary Next. After the ER, I had extensive emergency surgery, and from what I can tell, though I never actually asked, my tibia came through my skin when it broke, as I still have a giant wound that according to the doctor was "the spot that suffered the most trauma." After the surgery though, they couldn't close me up. Too much bleeding, too much swelling. And that kind of swelling can lead to what they call "compartmental swelling" aka the swelling gets so bad it cuts off circulation and then I have to be amputated. Eee. So they operated, and cleaned out the dust fragments of bone, leaving the larger ones, then implanted a titanium rod in my leg which extends from knee to ankle. Then I was given a hospital room. My last day there, I sat down ...

Living with my grandparents was posh. As noted here , after Turtle's visit, I moved to Smithfield to find new work. Cache Valley was supposedly the place with the lowest unemployment rate in Utah. Cool. I had my own room, my own bathroom, I totally felt at home. Even better was Grandma's cooking. Authentic, old-school, home-style cooking. Bread from scratch. Real eggs for breakfast. Real fruits and veggies from the garden. Three full sit-down meals a day. Doesn't get better than that. Job hunting was tedious, but I applied myself anyway. Had some leads, was interviewing, and then it happened. 5pm on a Friday. I didn't realize it was already 5pm, and was thinking that the library was open til 5:30. The Librarian told me it was time to close up shop. I scrambled with all my stuff, and then headed out. Walked a block south, and then looked at traffic. Busy. I pulled off my left glove to send a quick text message. When I snapped my phone shut, I looked again. Clear. So I w...

So while I was sitting on a couch growing roots trying not to go insane, Turtle came to visit. Yay respite. She was originally going to come the 3rd-10th but then genius me bought a ticket home until the 6th. Woops. So we had to shuffle a bit. I forgot to mention in previously that before my uncle agreed to help me move out in the matter of a few hours, I'd been conversing with my favorite roommate of all time and he (bless his soul) was prepared to come and save me. Had that happened Turtle was prepared to change her ticket to Salt Lake. The Saturday before Turtle arrived, Tobias was down in the valley, and so was Trav's friend Dave. Tobias loves caving but he was tired of Kuna Cave, so he had me use my internet finding skills to dig up some more caves. I found one called Gore's cave and we went to go find it early Saturday. Well, the cave entrance was pretty much a crack in the ground, that I could barely fit inside. We looked around the surrounding landscape to see if th...

i need to update. but really i just want to sleep. and am too high to care. about anything like updates. clearly, i'm alive. surgeries are going well. i may even go home from this hell-hole-of-a-boredom-pit-with-a-tube-in-my-weiner tomorrow. [Insert: as I was writing this drug-laced ramble of apathetic indifference with my iv still beeping incessantly because i refuse not to bend my arm, one of the CNA's came in and totally freaked out that I was STILL HERE. She was like omg I saw you last saturday night and they were doing surgery and I can't believe you are still here! I KNOW. RIGHT? GOOD HELL. ] If there weren't an endlessly-refreshing-10-minute supply of drugs this relationship would have ended...weeks ago. Even so I'm not completely without qualms that it's continued this long. Everything has limits. Everything. I've even exhausted my supply of books. That's like 2000+ pages of reading on top of all the drugs, surgery, eating, peeing anytime it sui...