Here's your opportunity to have a say/some sway (possibly) over my life!

I finished my stack of books, and have nearly exhausted the library's plethora of graphic novels (anyone read the Marvel: Civil War Series? Amazing! Universe-altering! Loved the inter-play and melting of all characters everywhere! I must've read 16 or 18 collections... XD)

So I went to my local library to get the next books in my ever-long list... and met with disaster! PEOPLE ARE READING!!! WHAT THE FREAK?!?!

I am now number 353, 454, and 83 for three books respectively. Wow, this must be some popular stuff! I hope it's not crap! I'll tell you once I read them... next year!!! AGH.

So I find myself at the interim with only one small book to read, and another on the list I can't (because I don't have another one of my books that goes with it... my auntie has it!)

Thus, I open it up to you. What should I read, and more importantly (without giving anything away!), WHY? Please share with me your bookly wisdom. :)

I'm ready to wake up from this NIGHTMARE loosely defined as my "life."

"Forgive me Father..."
"...for I have sinned."

And gravely so. True Confession of my soul:

8. I'm now subsisting below the poverty line. And it's SO hard on me.

I need to just openly admit this - not because I need charity, compassion, etc., but because I'm so fricking PRIDEFUL that I'm first and foremost mortified for anyone to know this. So I'm saying it out loud so you all know.

This week I went to the Bishop's Storehouse to get food. I, yes I, prideful, independent, doesn't need help from anyone, got food today from the Storehouse. 4 hours of service work to "pay" for it, but still. This is killing me.

I just want a job that actually MAKES USE of my degree, and skills - writing. Something. Anything. I don't care if I have to write Real Estate papers. I don't care if it's in advertising, legal, marketing, just as long as I get to use my tenacity for English and my passion for word-play. I don't want to work at Target, or a call center, or in a sales position.

With the way life INSISTS on continually, repeatedly, and practically unremittingly KICKING MY FACE IN, is that too much to ask for? Am I being a snotty, whiny, sutck-up school-brat here? I just want a job that makes sense of all the hard-earned money I spent to get my stupid piece of paper that would be more useful in providing me warmth via a trash can fire than it is now on my wall.

My mom tells me 70% or more of recent college grads are without jobs right now. What a consolation. That still doesn't pay my rent of keep food on the table. ALL my money is gone, and now I'm taking charity and hand-outs. And searching desperately for jobs. I mean, hell, last week I broke down and applied at the LOCAL SUBWAY RESTAURANT. And anyone who truly knows me will understand the kind of desperation that entails. The dumb part is that I can't get a job anywhere but here because I'm locked into a housing contract now (although if I can't make rent next month, that may change rapidly and drastically...SIGH). So I'm stuck with Utah (not to mention I need to be here when/if my court case ever gets going again since my laywer saw fit to drop me. AGH).

I really meant to be happy today. To be positive. To tell you all why I'm been lamenting and not getting around to summer updates... I'm to busy looking for jobs. But this is becoming too much for me, and I'm crumpling even in my strong places.

I need a miracle. Or just a job. Your prayers are appreciated.


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