Adventures in Urbania - Episode 1

Got an apartment. And dang it's going to be a story generator, for sure.

Last night I was standing in the kitchen next to the fridge, eating fresh raspberries I'd bought from a farmer earlier in the day. My fingers were getting stained red, and the berries were divine. I was so lost in my eating that I almost missed the knock that came on my wide-open front door.

I looked up in surprise to see a slightly overweight woman with many piercings, and wild purple hair. "Ey, do you know where I can buy some coke? Or crystal?"

My brain was clearly malfunctioning, because I thought of offering her some of my Dr. Pepper in the fridge, but instead blurted out, "Well, there's a Smith's across the street."

"Smith's what?"

"Like, as in the grocery store."

"And how am I supposed to get some there?"

Suddenly, it clicked in my head. My translator was BROKEN. Coke did not mean Coca-cola. And Crystal was not a brand of Lemonade. OHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Lady was asking me for DRUGS!!! I almost choked on a raspberry, and somehow squelched the guffaws threatening to erupt out of me. I managed to tell her sorry, I didn't know where to get anything like that, and she left. I immediately went into the bathroom and laughed as loud as I could. For like 5 minutes.

I want to buy drugs, can you help me?

Have you tried the grocery store? Bwahahahahahaha


Candice said…
OH. MY. WORD. There are NOT words for this. But I can't wait to hear more!
Abelard Enigma said…
Thanks - this gave me a chuckle for the day. Although, I confess, I probably would have thought the same as you ...

Reminds of a time when I was much younger (Jr High age). My older sister had some friends over, and one of them asked me if I ever tried grass. I replied "yeah, I saw my dog eating once so I want to see what it tasted like - it was gross."
sara said…
one question:

p.s. congrats on the apartment, my dears!

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